Paul Bonyon Burger, Hayden Idaho

Wolfe Reviews Rating: 4

Paul Bunyan

• Address: 8625 N Government Way, Hayden Lake, ID 83835
• Phone: (208) 762-2320
• Website: None?
• Email: orangetv@yahoo.com
• Yelp Page
• Zomato Page
• Trip Advisor Page

Where do I begin?

If you ever want to visit a restaurant that embodies the opposite of every good business advice you've ever heard, visit Paul Bonyun Burgers in Hayden Idaho.

My Visit

The building is run-down with mismatched furniture. The pictures on the wall could be interesting if they told a story or had a coherency about them, but they just look plopped on, symmetrically covering spaces at even widths along the wall above the windows. Boring.

The signage is at least consistent, but not descriptive. White boards with black fonts (of slightly different sizes) cover the boards. I'll give them a few points for not being awful signs. But, I have no idea what a "Paul Bunyan" is as opposed to a "Double Whammy". I finally saw an letter sized paper on the counter at the register, explaining things, but that doesn't help me from back in line.

The guy yells, "Dub" (double, I assume?) half-behind him as I order. That's a bit distracting. I've seen this done in dinners, but somehow here it feels more disrespectful to my ears than it does a quaint part of the experience in this instance.

I ordered a combo, but I don't get my drink yet, I guess I'll go sit down?

As I look around, the condiments are placed (rather after-the-fact) on a rickety table with a sad table cloth. Nothing is labeled, but I can assume the ketchup is the one with red dripping out?

My number is called, couldn't remember what it was, had to look. The new trend is to ask for a name.

I walked up and my try is covered in spilled soda, including my fry/burger wrapper. Not much of a reaction from the counter-worker until I grabbed them and walked away without the tray. Then he said, "Oh sorry, did you want a new tray?"… It's OK buddy, I'm now guessing if the other trays are clean.

The food

This Double Burger is small for the price (the sign above said bigger beefier, I thought "than what?"). It was dressed with cheap American cheese (like the kind you unwrap from plastic sheets). The ketchup and mustard were squirted on unevenly to one side. It was small, did I mention that?

When I went to get a refill, the counter guy filled it up without question. However, while he did I read a small sign that said "$0.50 for same visit refills". I'm thinking to myself, is this 2017? Really, you put that up and you're still in business? Free refills are standard, and cost you next to nothing in food costs. And the drink cups are those sad little Styrofoam cups (which speak, cheap).

While I sat, they did a job interview in the far corner. Standard pathetic questions Corporate America stopped asking ten years ago. The candidate was barely out of the door before the interviewer said something that sounded like it could be disparaging about the candidate, and laughed. Then, the crew sat around the front counter and loudly complained about a drive through customers they had recently.

The total of a hundred things (explicit and implicit) send a single resounding message:

"We care more about saving a penny than making raving fans, which means we're out of business and just don't know it yet."

All that said… Would I go back? 

Since they are the only real fast-food within a short walk of my work, sure. I might, they'll do in a pinch, but if I had a car, I'd have gone elsewhere.

For all that, the burger wasn't bad. If it was between McDonald's and this, I might go here.

Maybe....

***

Disclosures:

Note: My standards for service are high. I've spent a lifetime career studying books about providing high-quality service and quality standards. Books like Good to Great (Jim Collins), Raving Fans (Ken Blanchard & Sheldon Bowles), and others have made me hard to impress. That being said, I know my high standards and I try to give each establishment the benefit of the doubt. I try to provide an honest run through my experience. It could have been an unusually good or bad experience, it just was what it was.

My 1-10 Scale Standards (for my own memory so I can try to be consistent)(unless otherwise specified each applies to a single visit and is subject to change, up or down, next visit):

(1) Awful. They should close.

(2-3) Mostly bad, but they could recover, probably won't.

(4-6) Varying degrees of  "OK". I'd go again, if need be. I'm what Raving Fans calls "satisfied", which is a euphemism for someone who will choose another place if a better option comes along.

(7-8) I'm a Fan. Not a raving fan, yet, but a fan. I like. I'd go again. If asked where I want to go, this might show up on the list.

(9-10) I'm a Raving Fan! There's something special about this place that makes me want to go again and again.

(11+) Something happened that took my experience so over the top that it doesn't fit on a normal scale.

Darrell G. Wolfe

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant | Multipotentialite

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